Are You a "Sheep" or an "Eagle"? Have the Courage to be Different from Others!

It is very easy to be a "sheep" in this world and this country. What i mean is that most people in our society ARE crowd followers and conformists. They are like sheep who just follow others and they seem to have NO convictions, opinions and directions of their own. They do what their peers do, wear what their peers wear, go where their peers go and feel what their peers feel. They are LOST without their peers like a sheep without a shepherd to guide them. Yes, its good to have friends, be a team-player and identify yourself with them but that should NOT be at the expense of our own uniqueness. God makes us all UNIQUE but society wants all of us to have the same imprint and be blind followers.

WHY must we allow people to dictate what courses we want to take in life? WHO is studying anyway? You or them?

WHY must we allow people to decide what jobs we choose in our life? WHOSE life is it anyway? Yours or theirs?

WHY allow people to tell us what being fashionable and trendy is? After all, fashion and trend are very subjective? Who is to say that your own taste is wrong while others are right?

WHY allow society to instruct us about what is right or wrong? That would be most subjective for our societal standards have changed over the years. How better to follow God's objective standards of moral values instead!

I can't help feeling (rightly or wrongly) that I am a member of a rare, endangered and dying breed of humans who DO NOT want to blindly follow the crowd. People have hated, disliked or despised me for this but the day when Malcolm Tan ceases to be unique is the day when Malcolm Tan has died and a different Malcolm Tan has been born! God made me unique with my own taste, strengths, passion and calling and so why must I follow others? Why can't we be unique and chart our own path?

I would rather aspire to be an "eagle" that soars ahigh above and charts its own path independently.

I WILL CHOOSE A PATH which my peers will not choose, IF that is what I WANT TO DO!

That has resulted in me pursuing my passion and career in history AGAINST the grain of a pragmatic society that regards the subject as having no market value and worth. Had I listened to the dissuasion of my classmates, i would not have enjoyed my present fulfilment and academic achievements.

I WILL GO where my friends will not go, IF that is where I WANT TO GO!

I have persisted in going to explore and travel places alone where people would not go! Had i waited in vain for my friends, i would never have such great enriching experiences and adventures that people can only dream about!

I will NOT be like a feather being blown aimlessly by the wind.

BETTER for me to die than to betray my own uniqueness.

For God has made me UNIQUE, just as He made everyone UNIQUE. And so we must aspire to be like an "eagle" rather than a "sheep".

Are you an "eagle" or a "sheep"?

Do you chart your own path or merely follow other people's directions?

Do you have the courage to be different?

My 100th Post - What an Enjoyable Ex-Teacher's Day!

At BSS

Went back to BSS today and caught up with many ex-students. I really miss the Sec 3s! I was very nearly sabotaged today by my ex-NCC cadets. They called me up claiming that an NCC pace-stick was found in the toilet and that my help was needed. I was suspicious as I was no longer in the NCC and I also wondered why so many cadets could not take the pace-stick out of the toilet. When I reached the entrance of the toilet, I saw all the ex-Sec 3 cadets surrounding me and i guessed that it was a trap! They wanted me to gointo the toilet and then spray water all over me! Apparently, one NCC officer got tricked in this way and they attempted to trick and sabotage all the NCC officers one by one! I ran as fast as I could. Kangzhi was grabbing me but I shook him off and ran downstairs to safety. I was really exhausted! Daniel later asked me to go up and have a Teachers' Day celebration with all the NCC officers and the Sec 3 NCC boys who had bought us a cake! Only with his personal guarantee of my safety did I go up! But I was really touched by the boys who had gone through all the efforts to do that. They were of course "punished" for trying to sabotage us but they took it positively and light-heartedly. They are really one of the better batches of NCC boys that i have ever had! THANK YOU NCC BOYS for the cake!

At Kovan Mall

Later I went out for lunch with Chiw Foong, Yvonne, Jesslyn, Eunice, Jiaen, See Hwa, Jason, Roy and Lin Jia at Kovan Mall KFC. We then went to the New HK Cafe to "celebrate" with my nicely wrapped assorted Darrell Lea chocolates and some nougats which I bought from Australia. It was a real relaxing place to eat, chat and drink. It was nice to catch up with my ex-students cum friends! We then proceeded to play pool at Icez Pool. This was my first time playing after two years and i took a while to warm up. I

felt touched when Chiw Foong presented me with the gift that they had shared and bought for me. THANKS GUYS and GALS for your company this afternoon and the gift!

How Embarrassing! I actually stepped on and broke a lady's slipper!

Last Saturday, while on a field trip at the Padang and Fort Canning conducted by Dr Farrell a most embarrassing incident happened. It was an undergraduate history module which does not concern me but I turned up anyway to see what new insights I could get from my supervisor. He certainly enriched my mind with information that I did not know just like Chinese saying, "yi shan bi yi shan gao" (one mountain is higher than the other). As the 30-over of us were walking along the road near City Hall MRT Station towards Fort Canning Hill, I accidentally stepped on one of the Year 3 undergraduate lady's slippers and broke its strap! The following conversation and action was most embarrassing:

Lady (agitated): Aiyoh! Why you step on me and broke the strap of my slipper?

Malcolm (apologetic): Sorry! Sorry! I am really sorry.

Lady (agitated): How am I going to continue with the field trip now!

Malcolm (worried): Oh, yes, you still need to climb up the hill!

Lady (agitated): Aiyah!

Malcolm (apologetic): I tell you what. There is a Bata shoe shop nearby across the road. I get you a new pair of slippers.

Lady: Ok! I will wait here. I can't walk there.

Malcolm: Never mind! I will pay for your slippers. Its my fault anyway!

(So I ran across the road to the shoe shop, hurriedly enquired for the ladies' section and chose a pair of slippers. I know nothing about women's taste so I just got a pair that seems nice and sturdy. I had to be quick because the rest of the people are already way ahead of us and I don't want to miss them. I paid for the slippers hurriedly and then ran to the traffic junction where the lady had crossed over slowly)

Malcolm: (Bent down to put the slippers on the ground below her) Here's the slippers. I didn't have time to choose and i didn't know what you like but its definitely stronger than your previous one. I hope you like it.

Lady (embarrassed): (Putting the slippers on) How much is it? I pay you.

Malcolm (apologetic): Never mind. Its my fault anyway. (Bent down to pick up her old pair of slippers). Do you still want these? If not I throw them away.

Lady (embarrassed): You don't have to do that! Oh, well, I don't want them anymore.

(I threw her old slippers away and then we all walked hurriedly towards the others.)

Oh, its so embarrassing! It all happened in front of so many people! I had a good chat with her and her friends after that but nothing could remove the awkwardness and embarrassment that we both felt. What a day!

My First Big Clothing Shopping Spree in 10 years!

Yesterday, I finally decided to remove some old shirts, trousers and berms that I have been wearing for ten years from my wardrobe. That is a proud testimony to the fact that I have NOT put on any weight all these years! I then went to Toa Payoh Central Bossini, Hang Ten and another shop and bought 15 pieces of clothing in all - 1 shirt, 3 polo shirts, 4 long pants, 3 berms, 3 shorts and 1 greatcoat! And the most remarkable thing is that I have moved away from my traditional colours of white and khaki for casual wear! I have decided to refresh myself with other colours! Not that you will see me in any bright colours but at least they are of different colours and patterns from what I normally wear. Maybe I might change my spectacle frame soon. But I will definitely NOT lengthen, dye or spike my hair! Malcolm is still Malcolm after all! So, see if you can spot me in my "new" look the next time you see me!

Can You Spot the Wild Elephants in these photos that we took in the jungles of Malaysia? How many can you see?

These are just a few of the photos that I took of wild elephants in the jungles of Malaysia at Temenggor Lake, Perak. There are 2,000 of such beasts in the wild in Malaysia but tourists rarely encountered them. This time in June 2008, Jet, Philip and I were off on an eco-tourism trip here to look for the wild elephants as we have read that they exist here. In fact, the East-West Highway here had to have the sign that warns motorist, "Beware of Elephants Crossing!" A few years ago, a charging elephant trampled and damaged a car along this highway! Fortunately, the driver was unhurt. After seeing the droppings of wild elephants on the main highway, Jet instinctively led us down a path to the lakes and soon we heard the crashing sounds of wild elephants tramping through the undergrowth! We were indeed lucky to see nine wild elephants, photographed them and Philip even had the chance to video them in action! This is the dream of every wildlife enthusiast like us and it was at the cost of standing under the heavy downpour in the afternoon. Wow! Who would believe that we can have such an exciting safari tour in Malaysia, at our very own door step! It was safe to watch them afar as they have been known to charge and trample on humans when provoked! So we had to be careful on our way back up the path to keep a watchful eye for any of these jumbos! Of course, we survived to tell you all the tale!

My featured online letter to the Straits Times Forum to ask for the preservation of the southern islands

Today's newspaper reported that the fate of St John's and Lazarus Island is uncertain after the stepping down of the pro-nature conservation CEO of Sentosa Leisure Group, which manages the southern islands (as they are known). This is my letter to the Straits Time Forum which will be published on its online website tomorrow at http://www.straitstimes.com/ But I am not going to stop at this. I am going to try and pressure the various nature groups in Singapore to do something to preserve these two favourite islands of mine which I blogged about in earlier entries. In fact, if the authorities develop these two islands and Pulau Ubin as well, I have in mind to learn Malay, marry a Malaysian Chinese and move over to Malaysia! I will go insane if I don't have nature places such as these to relax my mind!

Keep Southern Islands' Natural and Spiritual Wealth

I refer to the article, “Southern Islands at Crossroads” (ST, August 13, 2008). I read with much alarm the report that the departure of Mrs Pamelia Lee as managing director of the Sentosa Leisure Group (SLG) may jeopardize the eco-paradise potential of the southern islands. It is indeed sad to learn that Mrs Lee seems to be the “lone voice” in the SLG, fighting for the preservation of the natural heritage of the southern islands.

Having stayed over on St John’s Island and crossed over to Lazarus Island many times, my photos can attest to the fact that the two islands have so much natural and spiritual wealth to offer to both locals and foreigners that cannot be found elsewhere on the mainland. Amidst the busyness of our Singaporean urban schedules, my friends and I have always found our spiritual refuge on the two islands with their many naturally therapeutic highlights.

The seas around the two islands are amazingly clear at certain times of the year and support much marine fauna and flora that are rare on the mainland. Many of these can be seen very clearly on an especially low tide. One of our last stretches of natural coastal rocky shores in the country are also found here with plenty of intact seashells lying buried in the soft sand. There is even a stretch of naturally soft sand bar on Lazarus Island where one can walk out to an outlying rock without getting completely submerged even at high tide.

Moreover, nowhere else in Singapore can one see as many as eighteen Brahminy Kites soaring gracefully in the air, spotting for prey and even occasionally diving down to the sea to take fish out with a quick and well-timed swoop! Add to these, the spectacular “red ball” sunset over the open sea and the occasional sightings of pink dolphins in the waters and one can understand why these islands are so magical!

The many locals and foreigners whom I met on the islands all agreed that the authorities should preserve them in its natural state for posterity. It would be sad indeed if these islands were to be converted into another casino or another rich man’s exclusive playground and house. That would be the sad day when most ordinary Singaporeans like me cannot claim that the southern islands are part of our homeland as we have no access to their natural beauty. When that happens, the authorities should not be surprised that some of us would choose to seek “greener pastures” elsewhere. For we would then have truly seen that this country is an elitist one, where only dollars and cents matter, despite all the recent hype about the importance of work-life balance, nature conservation and eco-tourism.

Malcolm Tan Shih Lung

Exempted from ALL English Graduate modules! Thank God! Health my only concern now.

YES, despite all my concerns, I did well enough in my Diagnostic English Test to be exempted from ALL Graduate English modules. Thank God. That means I will NOT have the burden of two extra modules in my course.

My health is my only concern now. I have consulted four doctors (both in polyclinic and private clinics), taken a few types of medicine but my breathing and throat problems did not completely subside. The private GPs insisted that I have asthma while the polyclinic doctors were more cautious and got me to do the asthma test yesterday. Unfortunately, the test result was inconclusive. It could be due to the fact that I did not breathe hard enough in or out of the apparatus (it was quite a complicated test requiring quite a bit of co-ordination). I have been scheduled for another test next Monday. Hopefully, this time round, they can conclusively decide whether I have asthma or not. I was indeed frustrated that my health problems had dragged on for two months or so and that the doctors did not seem able to diagnose the problem convincingly. I am worried that my studies may be affected by it. Nevertheless, I must continue to trust God, who has so graciously given me all the good things and the good life that I have thus far! Thanks, Lorraine, for your concern and medical advice. I am PROUD that, she, my ex-student is now doing Masters in Bio-medical science in Australia and can even give me health advice! That is the greatest joy of being a teacher, to see your ex-student grow up and pursue their passions! I would also like to thank those buddies of mine who are praying for my health.

I have been given the privilege of co-teaching a history module in NUS!

YES, I was real excited when Dr Farrell (my thesis supervisor) asked me to co-tutor the Singapore Military History Module in NUS! This is especially so when the bulk of the module deals with my pet topic - World War II in Malaya and Singapore! Moreover, this module is field-trip based, which means that i will be conducting field trips mainly to World War II sites in Singapore, which I often did as part of my "Battlefield Tours" in BSS and voluntary guiding with the National Heritage Board. Its time for me to use my uniforms, relics, photos, videos, music and props again, just as I did in BSS! Oh, how exciting it would be! It would be a good experience in doing what I most wanted to do in future -lecturing history in university!

Dr Farrell had noticed that I have experience in teaching history. My experience in conducting fieldtrips and a keen passion for military history which is also going to be my specialisation topic probably also counted, I think. I am so thankful that I have been given the privilege of co-tutoring this module with Dr Farrell, himself, who is a very distinguished military historian. He is such a good history lecturer that many undergraduates sign up for his elective military history modules every time they are offered! This makes me very pressurised to do my best in teaching this module, for I certainly do not wish to betray his trust and confidence in me by letting him down! Thank you very much, Dr Farrell! Thank you Kit Geok too, for giving me some information about the profile of NUS undergraduates who certainly are different from the students I taught before in BSS. I will need to modify my previous teaching methods!

Having A Taste of My Own Medicine!

Yesterday, I had my very first test/exam in NUS. It was a Diagnostic English Test for Graduate students (Masters & PhD). For all other faculties, only non-English language medium foreigners will need to take but the Arts and Social Science Faculty (where I am in) requires all of us to take this (as Humanities students, we are expected to have better English standards). Based on the test results, three things can happen.

Poor score - Need to take Basic and Intermediate Graduate English modules

Average Score - Need to take Intermediate Graduate English modules

Good Score - Exempted (don't need to take) any English modules

I was so surprised to see even British, Americans and Canadians (English-speaking countries) students taking this test!

Format for this two and a half hour test, which was very much like the "A" level General Paper with (1) editing of language mistakes, (2) reading comprehension (3) expository essay, quite like what I used to give my ex-Sec 3/4 students for Social Studies

It was the first time I did such an English paper since my JC2 days, 14 years ago!

It was my first such long exam paper since my undergraduate days in NIE, 7 years ago!

It was the first time in 7 years that I wrote essays using a pen and I am now so used to typing an essay than writing! My writing was thus quite slow.

I heard the same instructions that I gave to my ex-students just a year ago!

"Please write down your name, candidate number on the first page. Do not turn over until I tell you to do so!"

I was chuckling to myself, it all sounded so familiar but this time I am the one taking the exam! I am having "a taste of my own medicine!"

When the paper started, I really felt out of touch with taking exams for so long. It wasn't really that difficult but I was not sure whether they would penalise me for lifting from the passage or not (as they would for "O" and "A" level). Worse still, I felt the instructions were not clear enough. It was such a long time since I last did a reading comprehension! I had forgotten most of my exam techniques.

Then came the essay. I chose this question, "To what extent can teachers influence the thinking styles of students?" It was quite like an "O" level Social Studies or "A" level General Paper and I have my teaching experience to back me up. I had a lot to write about this and almost ran out of time. I was still struggling to finish the last line when I heard the very familiar, "The time is up! Stop writing!". I ignored that instruction and scribbled my last few words and then i recalled my ex-students doing the same thing while I said those very words last year! I chuckled.

After the paper, I got worried (like most students that I taught last time) when I discovered that I had made the SAME kind of mistake that some of my ex-students would do for such an essay last time - I did NOT write down the essay question number that I had chosen in my haste to finish writing! Last time, I would have threatened to give a "0" for the entire essay just to make my students learn this costly mistake! Its happening to me now! I am now the one making the same mistake! Would I be given a "0"? Really tasting my own medicine now! I asked the lecturer and fortunately, he said it was alright and so I heaved a sigh of relief.

My hands were all sore after the exam from having to write continously for so long, which is a common complaint amongst my ex-students after doing my essay exams last time! Hahaha!

I am confident of getting an average score and be exempted from doing the basic level Graduate English module. However, I am not so sure of doing well enough as to be exempted from taking the intermediate level Graduate English module. I had written my essay in the same style that I had taught my students to do for Social Studies previously but I just remembered (after the whole thing) that that style may NOT be suitable for GP at "A" level NOR was it really appropriate for an academic expository essay. I should have thought carefully before writing. Moreover, unlike my students in the past, we were NOT given any marking scheme previously. We knew NOTHING about how our essay would be marked and mind you, marking of essays can be very subjective. I had not followed the usual academic expository style of writing and I do not know if my marker would be merciful to me for that! I am now facing the same type of uncertainties that my ex-students once faced after completing an exam! I have a long eleven-day wait for the results to be released.

I sincerely hope that I don't have to take even the intermediate level of Graduate English modules. That would be most ironic. I had submitted my thesis proposal, presented academic papers and articles and even had my letters to the Straits Times Forum published (without much changes). Aren't these good indications of my English standards? I believe that a fairer way would be for them to assess the works and essays that we have done to ascertain our English standard rather than to put us into an exam like this where we have to work under pressure. This system only favours those who can work under exam conditions. In the first place, to be frank, I have NEVER really been a believer in exams, despite having been a teacher. I believe that an assignment is a better test of one's academic abilities. Fortunately, all my history modules (as far as I know) would be graded in the form of assignments rather than in the form of pressurising exams like this!

TO ALL MY EX-STUDENTS, I FINALLY FELT LIKE HOW YOU FELT LAST TIME! It was easy to teach skills but not so easy to apply the skills to yourself! When I invigilated you all last time, I used to shake my head and told myself, "All you students so poor thing!" Now I am facing the SAME stress myself! I have now been demoted from being a marker to a student! Well, one must be resilient enough to adapt.